I feel very fortunate in the manner in which I have been able to experience my life as a crossdresser. As a five foot five and one hundred and twenty-eight-pound male I have been interested in femininity and in wearing female clothing for as long as my memory serves me. This inexplicable internal need was a confusing reality, but one that I felt that I had both an emotional and physical need to follow.I began by exploring these emotions by secretively dressing up as a girl – in my mid-teens. These mysterious feelings affected me in many ways. I was on a search to discover what these powerful feelings meant. The mirror told me that I had already moved forward in both curiosity and actions.By age sixteen, I had grown out my longish dirty blonde hair. I was blessed with fine facial features and I also discovered how to use make-up at a very young age. I practiced with it in private, guarded times. I first went out in public as my female persona while in high school! I did this while painstakingly evading the knowledge of my parents and family.It’s crazy when I reflect on the fact that by age seventeen with both a driver’s license and the use of a car, I found myself driving to the very nearby city of Boston dressed as an overtly sexy female! I had been encouraged by both my reflection in the mirror and by an older male neighbor who befriended me. He had seen me walking the neighborhood dressed up as a girl. He would later tell me that that I looked quite convincing as a female.Today I was grateful that he never took advantage of my innocence and gullibility. I think he wanted isvecbahis to have sex with me but he was a gentleman, something I would find to be very rare in the world of transgender. He even allowed me to dress in his home and loved to see me in sexy dresses. He wanted for me to model sexy underthings for him but I demurred. I was shy and afraid, but my instincts were at least somewhat decent!I eventually learned about a place where transgender people went. It was a nightclub venue that I hoped to find some acceptance. It was a truly infamous place that I had heard my older cousins talk about. It was seedy and even rumored to be dangerous because at the time it was thought to be a bit of a drug haven. The attraction for me was that this club was a place where I could potentially be acknowledged as the girl I so loved to dress up and be.When I finally got up the courage to go there after changing and making myself up in my car, it did not go smoothly, as one might say. Lecherous men made me feel like fresh meat in a wolf’s den! Their forwardness had me fleeing in but minutes. Eventually though, I would return and adjust thanks in part – to my neighbor’s confidence in my appearance.Little did I know that my desire to be overtly pretty and my lust for overtly sexy in mini dresses and heels would result in navigations that would be even more challenging. I realized that I was very afraid of many of these half-crazy men. Being seventeen years old had a lot of built-in naivetés. In time, however, my perspectives grew and I came to understand more about just who the girl isveçbahis giriş in the dress was and who she wanted to be.I made friends with a few of the transgender girls there. There were crossdressers, transsexuals, gay, straight, and in between folks that frequented the bar! There were also many transgender prostitutes, some of whom I found both funny and tragically unfortunate, due to the constant dangers of their trade.I would do the things that many of the girls at the bar did. I would play pool, dance to the music, watch the drag shows and enjoy the girls I befriended. I did come to enjoy getting bought drinks. There was constant flattery from certain men. Two months later I danced with an older guy and found that his shocking touch and a surprising kiss would lead to far more than was ever on my personal radar! He would be my first.While in my first semester of college, I had the suddenly wondrous freedom to dress as my feminine self in my own apartment every weekend. I realized in time that I was sometimes willing to dress myself up in an alluring way for a man – if I found him special. This was truly the new me and I must admit it became very exciting to me!There were a couple of men I would do this for. It seemed daring and crazy, but it would become quite reasoned. I went from thinking of myself as purely heterosexual to finding that I was quite more. The sensual, sexual role of being a woman in a man’s arms became mind-blowing to me! My sensual, youthful, and alluring appearance helped me become rather popular with the guys. I felt pretty, desirable, isveçbahis yeni giriş and very lucky to have the attractiveness to become a popular gurl at the club.In my first two years out on the town as Cari, I made a few male friends. Two were special, quality men. One of them I was honored to refer to as Daddy. His dominant nature drew me to him in a most powerful manner. I was taught the delights of submissive sensuality as a boy turned female with the caring guidance of this older, handsome, attentive yet resolute man.It took a rare circumstance for me to find comfort as a female in a man’s arms, but this man brought out every feminine instinct in my heart and soul. I could now express that I have been a man’s whore as the girls at the bar would say. Fortunately for me, it was mostly a wonderful experience with the two special men who have both impressed me and have treated me very well.I’ve always had a travel bug. Montreal, Canada became my favorite travel city for many reasons. My first ever trip when I got my license was to see this city. It’s gender friendly, sexy, and cosmopolitan. It has a huge gay village and people are accepting and far more tolerant than in the states. After my first visit, I became one hundred percent female when I traveled there. When I got time off of school I used my saved money to take gurly vacations there.On a trip there recently I met a handsome man who flattered me greatly. He approached me early in the evening at the bar of a club I like to visit. Turns out that he was the owner of the night club. He ordered me free drinks and told me that I looked like one of his show girls! He asked if I would ever consider entertaining at his venue. I told him that I had done a couple of Drag shows in the past but I found it too nerve-racking and didn’t enjoy it.