Chapter 2 – The Gaze
“In ancient Greece, depictions of the nude male form were often explicitly or implicitly homoerotic. Artists almost always depicted the young male body as an erotic form. In some paintings, groups of men would massage each other; In others, they would simply embrace as lovers. ” Said the sculpting class teacher as she paced back and forth around the room snapping her thumb as the slides flicked on the back wall.
James’ body was laid over the classroom table, his chin suspended ever so lightly over one of his delicate folded hands. With the other hand, he held a pencil that he would occasionally carry into his mouth and chew, slowly caressing it along his plump blood red lips. He could hear the teacher’s dim voice in the back of his head, but his mind was completely engrossed in the images displayed. He was particularly enthralled with the statues’ backs and their muscle structure.
He had been entrapped by those forms since he jerked off to Brian’s back moving as he went down on his sister two weeks earlier. It was all he could think of. The way it displaced, glossy from all the sweat, and how the muscles conceded outwards and adjusted with the spine, broadening and making his back look colossal. James had, on multiple occasions after that, jerked off to that specific instant and the vision of Brian’s back moving seemed to make him tip over the edge into a nearly guaranteed climax.
Despite the blatant problematic nature of his voyeuristic incident and the invariable “throwback jerking sessions” the truth is James had no sense of guilt about it. He was sipping every bit of that moment to his obscene enjoyment. In fact, this urge had nothing to do with his sister, which helped even out the bizarreness, and everything to do with Brian. Be that as it may, it was becoming progressively more challenging to hang around him at home without feeling embarrassed and downright fiddly.
The slide apparatus went dead and after a brief moment of complete gloom, the lights in the classroom came back on, too bright for James’s eyes’ comfort. He rose, body swaying, and slugged himself through the school hallways and into the street, linking his usual kit composed of a jumper, headphones, and “school to home” playlist on Spotify. He would usually run home, but given the circumstances, he made a point to linger a bit in some places on his way to the apartment trying to make sure Brian left for work before he set foot in the door.
After twenty minutes of a very slow stride and James arrived at the flat, internally wishing that once he turned the key that Brian wouldn’t be home. To his astonishment, upon opening the door an odd and uncharacteristic commotion was taking place around the house. Vanessa was pacing frantically around, opening drawers and hauling small piles of clothes towards her and Brian’s room where a small traveling bag lay open flat on the bed.
James stood in the modest hallway looking both left and right with a troubled look. “Hey.” He said, his voice getting lost in all the ruckus. “Are you guys going somewhere?” He proceeded to inquire.
Vanessa stalled abruptly as she passed her little brother, almost as if she didn’t even realize he was there until now. “Hey, you!” She greeted, going in for a slovenly hand gesture as to say hello. “Sorry. Yeah, well, something came up at the firm and I’m going out of town for a week. I need to assist a colleague on a very important case.” She heralded as she resumed running around.
“Ok…” James uttered, the strain visibly building in his voice. He couldn’t evade the obvious follow-up question, “And hum…is Brian going with you?” He sought, hoping to hear her say yes. It was one thing to fantasize and daydream about him in a sort of intimate and private sexual realm, but it was another thing entirely to behold spending one entire week alone with Brian in the same small house, bumping shoulders, without at least the solace of her presence to fill in the unavoidably cumbersome silences.
“Nah. He’s staying around. Actually, he took the week off from work.” She said nonchalantly.
The words hit James like a slap in the face. His head became dizzy and blurred with questions, and all the potentially embarrassing scenarios between him and Brian for the next few days started to pile up. “Fine.” He indolently muttered, accepting the inevitable. He slithered away to his room, defeated. As he entered, he shut the door, throwing his backpack into the floor indiscriminately, stripping his hoodie, and declining his body on the bed.
As he lay there with his eyes fixated on the ceiling, James tried his best to reason with himself. “I mean, how bad could it be?” He mumbled to himself. He would generally spend most of the day in art classes and at the coffee shop. In the worst-case scenario, he might have to spend 3 to 4 hours alone with Brian at the end of the day, and if push comes to shove he could always make an excuse and retire to his room. He suddenly felt better and as his heart rate subsided, he fell into a comfortable sleep.
James çankaya escort woke up. The room was now totally dark. Lying on his back, he tipped his neck back trying to catch the time on the bedside alarm clock. A quarter past 3. He had fallen asleep with his clothes on. Still lagging he heedlessly stripped until his body was bare, dropping his clothes all around him as he went. He stretched and took a deep breath, his slender and pink shaft resting soundly on top of his stomach. Breathing in that pleasurable sensation he closed his eyes again.
He was about ready to resume back to slumber when suddenly he heard a key turn on the door to the flat. Brian was home. Almost instantly he felt his taint contracting. He turned around, his stomach facing down on the bed. His head sideways, facing the door to his room. The hallway light perused slightly through, which made James realize he had left it open.
Not a moment later treading could be heard moving towards the door and from it, Brian emerged. For a brief moment, he just stood there, his 6 feet tall shadow obstructing the light coming from the hall. James had his eyes closed, trying to muster the strength to persuasively pretend to be asleep. Even then he could feel all of Brian’s movements, he could smell his musky perfume and hear his worn-out breathing. Brian, who was resting his body against the bedroom door frame, took some steps forward.
In a very slow and affectionate way, he grabbed the bedspread and covered James’s bare body. Eyes locked and shivering from the inside, James could feel Brian’s hands inadvertently stroke his skin, from his feet, along his stripped legs, and up his undisclosed back, as he drew the white duvet over his body. As he went along James’s body his skin would ripple into goose pimples and his modest, barely noticeable blonde hairs, prickled up in alignment. Masked under his now sheltered body, James was sporting the most severe erection. Brian turned around and exited the room, shutting the door calmly behind him. James just laid there, shook by the unforeseen tenderness of that moment, eyes wide open in the murky room, precum leaking down his thigh.
Contrary to what he expected, James felt during the subsequent day a sense of urgency. Between work and classes, he couldn’t help but feel restless and uneasy. Almost like when one forgets something or has some sort of unfulfilled circumstance pending. All he wanted was to get back to the apartment. As soon as his shift concluded he ran home, and for the first time since he moved to Vanessa’s house, he forgot to put his headphones on the way there.
He opened the door to the flat to find it notably quiet, which was briefly discouraging. He tipped his head over to the tiny living room and kitchenette to find it empty. The apartment was hot despite all the windows being half opened. He swung his stuff into his room without even entering it and was removing his jersey on the way to the bathroom when he abruptly stopped in his tracks. On his left, he could see the door to his sister’s bedroom open. As soon as he took one step further, he saw it.
Brian, with his entire heavy and naked body sleeping soundly, his belly down and his right leg and arm bent like an Egyptian figure. His impeccable round and robust ass, half covered by a small quantity of bed sheet. His body was being caressed by the little streaks of sunlight attempting to enter through the blinds. It was the most beautiful thing James had ever seen.
He stood there for what seemed like ages, mesmerized by that beautiful and sensual image, his hand stretched slowly towards his groin where his cock was already waiting, totally rock hard. He started scrubbing it over his pants and as his hand went over it, he could already feel the mist of precum coming through the fabric. He walked forward just a couple of steps and had decided at this point that he would jerk off and unload to the sight of Brian sleeping when suddenly one of his feet squeezed the old wooden floor at the worst possible angle and before he knew it, a high cracking sound echoed through the house.
Brian’s rested body shot up from the bed, his head faintly searching for the source of the sound while trying to hold itself raised from the haze. “Oh, hey Bud.” He said, his voice trailing and his head turned sideways towards the door where James stood, with his now drenched pants completely hidden behind the doorway, only his head popping inside the room.
“Hey. Sorry, I woke you. Was on my way to the bathroom.” James uttered, about ready to vaporize when Brian stalled him.
“Hey, come here.” He signaled to James to approach him. James could have perished right there, his heart racing as his brain imploded. “I hum…I need to piss”. He said, in an almost indecipherable tone.
Brian lay there, his ass almost entirely displayed as the last slice of bedsheet pulled further from him. “Ok. Sure, well…wanna hang out tonight? Watch something on Netflix and just chill? I could cook cebeci escort us something?” He grilled with his deep but mellow voice, still wrestling to open his eyes.
James was petrified, his head spinning, knees bent and weakened. He needed to answer something fast to evade an even worse and uncomfortable situation so he just barfed “Fine!” Before withdrawing briskly into the bathroom and shutting the door vehemently. As he sat on the toilet, he couldn’t help but think that of all the worst potential scenarios he had imagined could happen this week, this was the worst.
He raced to the bedroom and rapidly changed his underwear before putting his shorts and oversized T-shirt on. He also pulled out some warm socks because normally his feet got chilly during the evening. While doing so he could hear a ruckus in the kitchen. He took a deep breath and exited the room.
As he approached the living room Brian was standing there, cladding the kitchen counter, sweatpants, and nothing else. His back facing James in all its splendor. A perfect reversed triangle of naturally tanned skin, broad, bare potency, and manly blessing. His shoulders towered above and his wholly luminous dark hair was encased in a bun. Detecting James’ presence Brian turned around to hail him enthusiastically.
“Hey, Bud!” He said beaming.
“Hey!” James responded, trying to sound excited, but failing pitifully. Hearing himself responds in such a way made him realize right then and there, that he had gone accustomed to handling Brian from a distance. As such he could come off as estranged when he tried to be more personal. Trying to reverse the tone he proceeded, “Thanks for making us dinner. Looks great.” He added, staring at the chicken salad Brian had produced.
“Hey, no sweat Bud, anything for my brother-in-law.” Brian teased, sticking his tongue out.
James could see it happening again in slow motion, as his groin clenched inside his briefs and once Brian’s moist tongue receded into his mouth, he fired, “Don’t call me that. Sounds super weird. You’re not even married to her.” He poked, trying to sound breezy.
“Not yet anyway. But if I marry her we’ll finally be one happy family.” Brian joked, giggling even harder after seeing James’ vexed face. “Eat. I know you’re starving. Don’t lie.” He said, pointing at James who nodded in agreement.
The both of them sat there enjoying their meal, cracking jokes, laughing, and for the first time, James felt at ease around Brian. He didn’t even remember to check his stripped chest at all during dinner which dumbfounded even himself.
They finished and Brian started clearing the table. James attempted to help but as soon as he reached the sink, Brian took the plates from his hand and nudged him with his pelvis to the side. James peeked down at Brian’s six-packed stomach imprudently, then looked up to find that Brian was looking straight at him, green eyes glaring and smiling. He winked and signaled with his head towards the couch. Convinced that his ineptitude around Brian was finally resolved, James felt like a cocky fool once his chest squeezed anxiously, having experienced so much proximity with the man from his sexual fantasies in such a short time.
He sat on the couch, feeling utterly embarrassed, twitching in every position until Brian finally popped up from behind, went around the couch, and let his bruising body fall on it like a heavy tree. He took a deep breath and when he exhaled, James was able to smell his breath near him. It smelled like musk and cinnamon. It was utterly intoxicating and James’ pelvic girdle twitched inwardly. He immediately got hard and, to hide it, he brought his knees to his chest drawing them closer with his arms. Brian tipped his head to the side looking at him straight on.
“You ok? You seem nervous.” He questioned.
“Oh. No. Just tired. Might go to bed soon.” James announced, trying gravely to evade the situation. He lowered his left leg towards the floor, flagging his body to try and attempt to get up from the couch. And all of a sudden it happened.
From the other side of the couch, Brian’s hand emerged and collared his leg, the entirety of his palm landing on Jame’s thigh. “No, you’re not,” Brian commanded, his hand resting on James’ leg. “Here.” And with an expeditious move, he slithered his hand down James’ leg to his left foot and pulled it towards his groin area. “Lay back.” He commanded.
Completely stunned, James did as instructed. To his wonderment, there wasn’t a single shred of resistance from his side as he slid his body along the couch, planting his body along it, with his smooth milky legs now facing Brian, who was still holding his left foot near to him. Once James’ uneasy movements started to subside, his right leg still trying to find a steady position, Brian took his left leg in the air and said, “Who the hell wears socks in June?” James giggled. Whatever Brian was doing was working because much to his surprise, James was beginning to unwind and accommodate çukurambar escort that weird new setting.
“Shut up. I get cold during the evening.” He answered, smiling. Brian looked at him for a brief moment. He seemed to observe James’ smile intently.
“You know, that’s the first time I’ve seen you smile in a long time, Bud.” He said, shifting his attention back to James’ foot. “Let’s take this off.” He heralded, pulling in one swift move the fluffy wool sock he had on. He tossed it on the table and before James knew it both of Brian’s huge hands were touching his foot, completely encasing it.
James couldn’t help but seal his eyes in complete surrender. Brian’s hands were warm, and cordial and were pressing the front and base of his foot. Softly at first, then gradually becoming longer compressions, more steadfast and profound. Faltering in his speech he muttered, “I needed that.”
“Anytime, Bud.” Brian responded, beaming at James as he lay there, eyes closed, his arms crossed over his belly, and his right leg swaying on the side of the couch.
The two men were finally connecting. They lay there, for several more hours, cracking jokes and teasing each other while Brian massaged James’ tired feet. They watched two movies, back to back, and by the end, they were still going. They would occasionally get up to grab a couple of beers from the fridge and then run right back to the couch almost as if that couch had become their entire world for those hours. James was glowing.
Brian would, from time to time, peek at him with a content expression, like he had cracked James code. In turn, James would chuckle at Brian’s jokes and think to himself of all the wasted time he spent trying to avoid his presence and company. Time flew and both started getting foggy and weary. James slid further and further to his side of the couch, nestling his head on a small pillow. Brian managed to hold on a little longer, ultimately falling asleep himself, his body dropping opposite James, the boy’s feet underpinned right between his groin as his hands embraced and warmed them.
James woke up, his eyes heavy. The lights in the living room were down, and the TV was still playing, but the sound was on mute. He rose a bit and just endured there squinting his eyes. The only thing he could hear was Brian’s heavy breathing. He started slowly unlocking his legs from Brian’s grip and by doing so, he undisclosed something he wasn’t prepared for.
There, hidden underneath his feet was Brian’s rock-hard 9-inch prick, only scarcely concealed by the thin fabric of his sweatpants. It was massively thick and widened towards the tip. James couldn’t look away even if he wanted to. It was twitching and throbbing on its own, inviting itself to be touched. And James yearned to touch it. He knew that if he went for it and if he acted on what he desired at that precise moment, everything would change. He plucked himself forward and sat, left leg crossed and the right one on the floor. Brian shifted his stance a bit, grunting. His robust arms resting behind his neck. James stalled hoping his movement wouldn’t wake him up, but he seemed pretty inebriated so how wrong could this go, he thought.
He leaned forward again, steadily now, his hands grabbing Brian’s sweatpants, pulling them down. As he did, James unleashed Brian’s gigantic dick that instantly bounced forward in his direction. Uncut, huge, thick, and engorged. It was perfect. The perfect dick on the perfect man. There was no verdict to be made. James pushed his head forward and with his nose almost touching it, he whiffed it in. Musk, mixed with sweat and salted cum. The scent went through his body like wildfire, propelling his pelvis forward in an irrepressible spasm. His dick was immediately hard and he could feel small bullet shots of precum firing inside his shorts. He opened his mouth, sticking his tongue slightly forward, prepared to lick it. As he went in, he peeked up at Brian’s face.
A violent jolt took hold of James’ body. Staring straight at him was Brian, with his eyes protruding and in shock. “What the fuck are you doing?”
“I’m…sorry…” James uttered. He stood up straight away, turning his back to Brian and fleeing to his bedroom, shutting the door behind him viciously and locking it from the inside. He paced around the room, venting. s
Unexpectedly there was a modest knock on the door, “Bud, open up.” Brian pleaded from the other side, calmly. James’ body halted to a stop and there was complete silence in the room. He could hear Brian’s breath on the other side, and he could sense his discomfort. “I think we should talk.” He noted, still maintaining a mild and steady tone.
James’ body was cold, his muscles tightening and tears were welling up progressively. He bit his lip, quivering while trying to bring out the words, “Go away, Brian.” He let out, his voice swamped with embarrassment. After a brief silence that seemed to last indefinitely Brian’s shadow slowly faded, leaving James’ room in complete darkness. He crouched against the bed and started wobbling his body uncontrollably. He was having a panic attack and felt like his heart would give in, right then and there. All the while, thoughts were ruthlessly running through his head. How could he have been so thoughtless? How could he have let himself reach that point? How could Brian ever forgive him? How sick was he?