Alex Yates was laying in bed on a Tuesday night, unable to slow his mind down. He’d had a tough few days, starting with the previous Friday night. He’d been bullied pretty viciously but one of his classmates had come to his rescue, Jacob Andrews. He’d call Jacob his friend but the last couple days had confused him immensely.
Jacob had befriended Alex. Alex bonded to him rather quickly and he thought Jacob truly cared about him. After he’d stopped Alex’s bullies, he had taken him back to his house. They had a short but fun night before they’d shared a passionate kiss.
Immediately after the kiss, things got awkward. They went to bed soon after and Jacob took him home first thing in the morning. He had an excuse but Alex knew he’d made it up. Jacob didn’t try to call or text Alex the rest of the weekend. On Sunday night, Alex finally broke down and texted Jacob. He got his feelings hurt further when he got no response.
In school on Monday, Jacob was at school but he didn’t go to 6th period, the class of the day that he shared with Alex. Alex tried texting him again that night to make sure he was okay. This time, he got a super short reply.
Apparently, Jacob had to get his hand wrapped at the doctors office if he had any chance at playing on Friday. He was starting quarterback and he’d hurt his hand punching Alex’s bully.
This made Alex feel terribly guilty, even though it really wasn’t his fault. He told Jacob he was sorry. Jacob simply told him it wasn’t his fault but then quit responding.
In all honesty, it was very possible that Jacob’s short responses to him made Alex feel worse than being ignored. And then at school earlier today, Jacob didn’t speak to him at all.
Alex really wanted to cry but refused to. He wondered whether Jacob was acting the way he was because of his hand or because maybe Jacob just needed some time to process what happened on Friday. He was quite sure that it had been Jacob’s first kiss with another guy.
In all reality, Alex knew it was because of the kiss but you know how it is, you try to find any way to explain things you don’t understand and over-think so much that you confuse yourself even further.
Alex knew he was gay himself despite the fact it was his first kiss ever. Of course he was confused, mostly about Jacob’s feelings and not his own but even still. He was just trying to think rationally when he really was riddled with anxiety.
He struggled to try to go to sleep for a couple hours until he’d finally rocked himself to sleep. Maybe tomorrow would be different.
**********
Jacob was feeling torn. He knew how he felt about Alex at this point but he was too afraid of what it meant. He’d spent all of Saturday and Sunday with his girlfriend, Kelly. Then she went with him on Monday to get his hand wrapped before they spent the day together since he couldn’t practice. But the whole time Jacob was distracted: he knew he wanted to see Alex.
He’d already been asked about Alex and what had happened to him on Friday. The rumor was that Alex had been gay-bashed. Which wasn’t necessarily true but it also wasn’t far from the truth either.
Jacob was afraid of any rumors starting up about him, since it was well known why his hand was wrapped. He didn’t need his team to start to feel uncomfortable with him. He was a team captain, de facto leader as quarterback. He and the team needed to stay focused for Jacob to impress college recruiters. He was trying to get an athletic scholarship to continue pursuing football in college and that kind of thing could ruin his chances with many programs, no matter how “inclusive” schools and sports teams had begun to try to present themselves as. He’d be labeled a “distraction” or “controversial.” Damn labels.
He felt so badly that he just laid in bed all afternoon and night on Tuesday after school. He truly didn’t know what to do. He tried to weigh the pros and cons of pursuing this with Alex but it was like his brain wouldn’t work right. He was spinning wheels in his mind.
It was Wednesday morning and he didn’t want to go to school but was going to have to make himself. He was going to have to talk to Alex so they could do their project that was now due tomorrow. So, after groaning loudly and attempting to smother himself with a pillow, he got up out of bed and got ready for school.
**********
Alex was at his locker, changing out some books for his classes after lunch. As usual, he’d ate lunch alone quickly and went to the library to read some before he’d come to his locker.
As he searched his locker for a specific textbook, a boy named Thomas came up to him. It startled him at first but he knew Thomas about as well as he did anyone else at school.
Thomas was openly gay and people were always talking about him behind his back. Because of this, Alex related to him. If it weren’t for the fact he was in the closet, he’d probably have tried to be better friends with him. He didnt find him attractive but Thomas was afyon escort always nice enough to him that Alex could see himself being friends with him.
Alex wasn’t aware of any of the rumors going around about him being gay-bashed, he didn’t really talk to the kids at school. So he had no reason to believe there was any reason for this interaction other than maybe the fact he’d been attacked. There had been about a dozen witnesses, after all.
“Hey Alex, I heard what happened to you this weekend…I’m so sorry you had to go through that,” Thomas said to him compassionately.
Alex knew that he was blushing furiously, the humiliation of Friday night rushing back to him.
“Oh–uh, thanks Thomas,” said Alex awkwardly.
“If you ever need to talk about anything, I want you to know I’m here for you anytime.” As Thomas spoke, he placed his hand on Alex’s shoulder. Alex suddenly felt pretty confused by the other boys touch. Was this a come-on or something? Surely not…
At that moment, Jacob happened to come down the hall. He felt a surge of jealousy and felt his stomach drop when he saw what was going on. He’d been planning to speak to Alex in class but when he saw Thomas the openly gay kid with Alex, he immediately decided now would be a better time.
When he walked up on the two of them, he was totally in Thomas’s personal space. He wasn’t intending to make anyone feel unsafe but he also couldn’t help being somewhat intimidating. Thomas was somewhat taller than Alex but Jacob towered over them both. Thomas didn’t think much about it though, Jacob had always been kind to him like he was to everybody.
“Sup,” Jacob said to Thomas a little stiffly. Thomas just smiled at him and nodded.
“Hey Alex, we really need to get our project done. Can I come to your house this afternoon?” he continued to Alex.
“Oh…okay, yeah that’s fine Jacob,” Alex stammered.
He noticed Jacob’s demeanor and was unsure how to take it. Alex expected Jacob would just turn around and walk off after he answered him but he did not.
“So, what are y’all talking about?” He said with a superficial smile, looking more stereotypical dumb jock than Alex had ever seen him look.
Alex was confused why he cared but Thomas had no reason to think anything of it.
“Oh, I was just letting Alex know I’m here for him after what happened to him Friday. You’re the one that stopped it, aren’t you?” Thomas responded.
Alex felt incredibly uncomfortable by the conversation but didn’t know how to communicate that. Jacob, on the other hand, was relieved by Thomas’s answer. So nothing funny was going on between them? Good! But for good measure, he should probably try to make clear certain things to Thomas.
“Yeah, nobody’s going to FUCK with Alex when I’m around,” he said somewhat ominously, emphasizing the word “fuck.”
Thomas for the first time picked up on how odd the moment was. The way Jacob was speaking made it clear he felt some type of way about something. Thomas backed away a half a step.
“Uh, good dude…well, I’ll see yall around,” Thomas said, looking both amused and bewildered before turning away.
Alex couldn’t help but to glower up at Jacob. He felt like he was incredibly rude to Thomas and didnt know why. Was he jealous? Like he had any right! But he still was too insecure to say anything about it.
Jacob, in turn, looked rather pleased with himself. He had a smirk on his face that continued to give off “dumbass jock” vibes and just said, “well, I’ll see you in class,” before walking away and leaving Alex incredibly confused.
**********
Alex was sitting in his living room after school, waiting for Jacob to knock on his door. He’d made the decision that, as incredibly nervous as it made him, he was going to say something about the incident with Thomas earlier.
Alex was a very non-confrontational guy. Even though he didn’t think Jacob would ever get violent with him or anything, it still wasn’t lost on him how much larger Jacob was than him.
When he heard the knock on the door, his heart jumped out of his chest. When he opened it, Jacob peered down upon him with a bit of an apologetic smile on his face. It was clear he knew he’d probably acted weirdly earlier in the day. Alex thought he looked so cute and, for a brief moment, Alex forgot that he wasn’t happy with Jacob.
“Hey,” Jacob said a little meekly.
Alex just turned around and led him up to his room.
“Have a good week so far?” Jacob asked him timidly, once in the room.
It was the absurdity of Jacob’s question that snapped Alex back into reality.
“No, I haven’t Jacob. It’s sucked actually. What was that about with Thomas today?” Alex asked fiercely.
Jacob noticed that this was the first time he’d ever seen Alex seem to stand up for himself. It both made him glad to see but also bothered him at the same time.
Jacob thought, “Out of all the people to stand up to, he’s gonna pick me?” Later, ağrı escort he’d realized it was because Alex actually felt empowered to do so by Jacob. In the moment, however, it stung him.
“Well I’m sorry, I was just seeing what y’all were talking about,” Jacob said with shrug and a glint of defiance in his eye.
“Do NOT gaslight me, when have you ever cared about who I talk to or what I talk about? You were trying to intimidate him!”
Jacob stood in stunned silence for a moment. “Gaslight you?” Jacob thought incredulously.
But after a second, he realized Alex was right. He really was so smart, Jacob couldn’t help but think. He exhaled and closed his eyes. Alex took this as him being annoyed and agitated and he wilted a little.
“I mean, I’m sorry for jumping on you. I’m just so confused by you, Jacob.”
“No don’t apologize, you’re right,” Jacob said quickly before taking a seat on Alex’s bed, searching for what to say next. Alex sat down on the other end and watched apprehensively as Jacob struggled to find words.
“Look you say you’re confused but I am too. I’ve never…done that…with another guy before. Hell, I’d never even wanted to until that moment,” Jacob said.
He wasn’t just talking to Alex, he was talking it out to himself for the first time. He refused to make eye contact.
“But why? Why would you kiss me if you’re not into me like that?” asked Alex, who was completely anxiety-ridden at this point but forcing himself to keep going. He needed answers or he was going to go crazy.
“Because Alex, you’re just super smart and super nice and I guess you’re cute too. I don’t even know how to feel about you! You make me like question everything I thought I knew about myself. I should have talked to you sooner about all this but I didn’t want to say something wrong.”
“I’d rather you say something wrong than nothing at all, Jacob. Look, I like you. Okay? I’m gay and I like you, me and every girl and every other gay guy in school. I understand if you don’t feel the same but I need to know if I should just give up on you or what.”
Alex knew it was risky to come straight out and say that he was gay. It was the first time he’d ever told anybody. But he didn’t really even have to think twice about it. Jacob was opening up about his feelings to Alex so Alex was automatically doing the same to Jacob.
“No!” Jacob said quickly and a little louder than he meant to, making Alex jump. He looked into Alex’s eyes for the first time.
“I’m sorry…just don’t give up on me, okay? This is so new to me, but can’t we just like not talk about labels and just see how things go? I’ll try to be open with you about how I’m feeling. Right now, I just know I’ve missed you like crazy these last few days and I don’t wanna lose you. So, let’s just see how things go…okay?” Jacob asked desperately, still looking Alex in the eyes.
He was surprised by what he said and how it came out but Alex had pushed him to confront the thought of not being his friend anymore. And that was the one thing he knew without a doubt he did not want to happen.
Alex looked into his eyes and saw the worry in Jacob’s face. He’d never seen him like this. Even if he’d wanted to say no (which he absolutely did not), he could never have brought himself to.
“Okay. No labels, no expectations other than honesty. Right?” Alex asked.
Damn labels, right?
“Right…but also, other people can’t know anything about this…okay? Not while we are figuring this out, you know how it is in sports about this kind of thing…I’m trying to get a scholarship and…” Jacob’s voice trailed off. This was the last hurdle for him at this moment in time.
Alex could feel the pleading in Jacob’s voice for him to understand, for him to agree even if he disagreed. But, luckily for Jacob, Alex happened to he wholeheartedly okay with the situation. Being out scared Alex just as much as it did Jacob.
“Of course Jacob, I’m not ready to be out right now either…and I don’t need the kind of attention I’d get if people knew we were hanging out like that,” Alex said with a nervous chuckle, looking down in his lap awkwardly.
Jacob looked relieved as he sighed, smirking and nodding his head in agreement.
“So um, could I maybe, uh, give you a hug?” Alex asked a little nervously.
He was unsure if that was crossing a boundary but he had to see. This arrangement was new to them, after all.
“Of course, you don’t have to ask me,” Jacob said with a strained smile as if trying to hide how happy the question made him.
Alex scooted down the bed and, as he wrapped his arms around Jacob, Alex felt both of their bodies relax. Jacob wrapped his arms around Alex, pulled him over into his lap and just held him there for a couple minutes.
It was like a weight had been lifted off Jacob’s shoulders. His biggest fears all along were people finding out about what was going on and losing Alex. Before, he couldn’t see a way around aksaray escort one or the other happening but for now, those fears had been allayed. Jacob had gotten what he wanted like he always seemed to. But so did Alex and this was a new experience for the smaller boy.
**********
It took them the better part of 4 hours to get the project done and by the time it was finished, it was already past 8 o’clock. The boys realized there was a problem: Alex would have to take their volcano model onto his bus in the morning if Jacob didn’t take it with him.
As nobody would be in the car with Jacob to keep it stabilized on his way home, it was going to have to stay at Alex’s for the night. Instead of having to come back in the morning, Jacob had an idea.
“Why don’t I just crash here with you tonight? That way we don’t have to risk it getting messed up and I don’t have to wake up quite as early as I would have to? I know my mom would understand,” He suggested with his usual air of “I know you’re not going to say no and my mother won’t either.”
Truthfully, Jacob didn’t care about having to wake up early. He just honestly didn’t want to leave now that he felt comfortable about being around Alex again. They’d been laughing and having a good time doing the project and they worked really well together. Jacob realized he really was quite smitten with Alex.
Alex, however, felt a nervousness come over him when Jacob asked. He knew his dad would come home, undoubtedly drunk, at some point in the night.
His dad didn’t really care what he did, they could go days without actually seeing or speaking to eachother despite living in the same house.
That being said, he really didn’t want Jacob to see how it was. He’d told Jacob his dad was an alcoholic but he didn’t give any of the messed up details.
Even still, Alex liked Jacob and he didn’t want him to leave either. So he decided to take the risk and told Jacob that that was fine.
“Sweet! Do you mind if I take a quick shower?” Jacob asked, a little giddy all of a sudden.
Jacob kept clean clothes in the trunk of his car so that he always had something clean to put on after football practice everyday. He went and got a pair of basketball shorts and a t shirt out of his car, deciding he could just re-wear the pants he wore to school in the morning and nobody would realize.
Alex’s house had no attached bathroom like Jacob’s did. It was down the hall and it was nearly as big as Jacob’s own personal bathroom. He felt a little self-conscious about it but Jacob honestly didn’t care. He was just happy to be hanging out with Alex. He’d like Alex even if he lived in a tent outside somewhere.
After about 5 minutes, he heard Jacob yelling for him and realized he didn’t give Jacob a towel from the hallway closet. He grabbed a towel and knocked on the bathroom door.
“It’s unlocked!” Jacob called out. Alex thought he would come to the door so he could just hand him the towel but Jacob didn’t want to get the floor wet.
Alex cracked the door and stuck the towel out and heard Jacob laugh through the falling water of the shower.
“Just bring it to me Alex,” he said, amused.
The scene Alex saw when he opened the door was something out of a dream.
Jacob was standing with the shower curtain pushed back, in full view. He was dripping with water droplets streaming down his face and body. His hair had been flattened by the water that was running over his head, like a puppy dog that just got out of a pool. He was leaning with one hand on the wall under the showerhead which cause his arm and abs to flex. A little cold from the air hitting his body and the fact he liked his showers with cool water, his body had visible goosebumps and his tan-colored nipples that sat on his pecs were engorged. His six-pack was gleaming from the light reflecting off his wet skin. Alex’s breath was taken away.
Jacob’s soft 5 inch cock was hanging between his legs, his pubes damp and water was streaming off the tip as if he was urinating clear water. Alex didn’t really notice this though. Normally, it would be what drew most of his attention. But not in this moment. It was Jacob’s face and body that had completely enraptured him. It was like looking at the nude statue of a Greek god.
Alex hesitated at the door as Jacob turned the water off before taking the couple of steps to the bath tub.
Jacob was smiling, clearly a little humored by the affect he had on Alex. He felt incredibly confident and powerful in that moment.
Alex handed the towel over to Jacob and when Jacob reached to grab the towel, he grabbed Alex’s hand with it. Alex had hardly taken a breath as he gazed up at Jacob’s face. Jacob slowly bent down to kiss Alex on the lips. Both of their lips twitched as they found eachothers, both feeling that rare spark that only two lovers who had been destined to meet ever felt. There was something electricifying to Alex about Jacob’s wet lips, keeping Alex from breathing.
The kiss lasted a few seconds before Alex finally had to inhale for a breath. Jacob pulled away, towel now in his hand, still smiling down at Alex. Alex was looking up almost like a deer in headlights, but his eyes were full of puppy love instead of fear.