I was sitting in the passenger seat of his car, looking out the window to my right. We drove through a forested area; I was only able to see a faint outline of the trees from the light of the bright moon. I looked to my step-brother, Zach, who was driving. I could barely see him, unless an occasional street lamp illuminated his face. When I did see his face, he had a look of apathy, almost like he was empty inside. I wanted to speak, but was too afraid. The silence paralyzed my words. I knew something was coming; it was the fear of his unknowns that scared me.Not too long after, we took a right into the parking lot of a small recreational park. The park was connected to a lake; the same lake we lived on, only our house was on the opposite side.“Walk with me,” he said calmly. I unfastened my seat belt and opened the car door. Zach was already out, and as soon as I shut the door, his car locked. We walked together to the lake. I could hear the rustling of the leaves underneath our feet. The cold air made me shiver. I only wore a hoodie, jeans and sneakers. I dug my hands into my hoodie’s pocket, trying to keep warm. Zach wore tight jeans, black shoes and a black leather jacket over a navy colored hoodie.It wasn’t long before we reached a bench overlooking the wide and flat lake. We sat down, and said nothing for a little longer. Freezing wind flew through us as I watched the beauty of the moon’s reflection against the black water. “I… needed to talk to you about something,” he said softly.I looked into his eyes as he looked into the lake and asked, “What is it?”He took a deep breath, “Dad has been telling me to join the Marines more often, almost daily now.”Sadness was all I felt when I heard Başakşehir escort those words. For a moment, I couldn’t breathe and attempted to keep my composure. “Why does he want you to so much?” I asked with all my strength.He smirked, “You know him, it’s never enough.”“Why do you care what he thinks? He doesn’t know who you are, Zach,” I said. More cold air pushed through my body. I shivered even more than before.“Here,” he said, as he took off his leather jacket and put it around me. I slipped into it, and the warmth from his body still remained. “And to answer your question, he and I both know it will make me stronger as a person.”I grabbed his right arm, and pulled up his hoodie’s sleeve. I exposed the eight scars on his wrist. I ran my fingers across each one.“You are strong. If you got through this, you can get through anything. You’re the strongest person I know,” I protested.“It’s not the same,” he said.“Yes it is!” I exclaimed, pausing to take a deep breath. “I don’t want you to go.”“Neither does Lexi,” he said, “But I just feel like it’s something I have to do.”I raised my voice, “But it’s not! It’s what dad wants for you. I wouldn’t be able to handle it here without you, and I can’t even think about you being killed…”There was a long silence between us. Only the sounds of waves crashing and trees flowing in the wind could be heard. Our eyes never met during the silence and we stayed separated from each other.A few moments later, he spoke, “Lydia…”“Yes?” I asked, looking at him. He stared back. “Remember when you kissed me?” he asked.My heart began to beat faster with a feeling of heavy nervousness, “I do…”“What made you want to do that?” he Bayrampaşa escort bayan asked.“The same thing that made you want to masturbate in front of me…” I said softly.He paused for a moment, “Why do you feel that way for me?” “Honestly because you’re perfect,” I said.He smirked, “I’m far from perfect.” “You’re perfect to me,” I said.He was silent for a moment. “I’m not… good,” he spoke up softly.I questioned, “What does that mean?”His tone of voice shifted on a dime, and became almost animal-like, “I’m not a good person. Everyone around me I hurt, and they eventually hate me. I don’t want to hurt you, Lydia.”I slid closer to him, “You’re never going to hurt me. And everyone around you, loves you, more than you know.”“Do you love me?” he asked softly.“Just a little more than a step-sister should…” I whispered. There was a long pause again. I was overwhelmed with the fact that I just told my step-brother I love him, and I knew for a fact I didn’t know what to say next.“Can you do something for me?” he asked.I questioned, “What?”“Just… stay still for a moment.” he said softly. I froze. I had no idea what was going to happen, but I watched him carefully. He leaned forward to me, our faces were close. I bit my lower lip in anticipation and it happened. He kissed me, and for a moment, there was nothing else in the world, just his warm lips against mine. And just as quick as it started, it ended. I was breathing heavier, and I bit my lip again. I wanted to feel that moment again. I wanted more. I needed more.“How did that make you feel?” he asked.“Honestly? Excited, warm, loved, admired… wanting… what about you? How did it make you feel?” I asked.“Fascinated,” Escort Beşiktaş he said sternly.I didn’t know what he meant by that, but I was hoping to God that he enjoyed it as much as I did. He stood up from the bench, “Come on, let’s get outta here.”We didn’t speak on the way back to his car, the air still blowing on us, colder than before. He unlocked his car, and I looked up into the clear night sky. I gazed at the stars one last time.At home, I put Zach’s jacket on the coat rack and walked into our white kitchen. I opened the stainless-steel refrigerator and grabbed a carton of orange juice. I moved to the granite counter and opened the wooden cabinet, grabbing a small glass. I shut the cabinet door, opened up the carton of orange juice and poured some into the glass. I took a deep breath, and took a sip. The stinging sensation of the citrus touched my tongue, just before the flavor of the orange fruit. I swallowed before I heard Zach walk into the kitchen. Orange juice has always been my own form of alcohol; it gave me the uncanny ability to keep myself relaxed in anxious situations. My back was turned to him. I was too embarrassed to look at him. I thought for sure this would be the end of our more than step-sibling’s relationship. But suddenly, I felt his hands reach across my sides and to my tummy. He locked them there, his strength like a vice grip pulled me into him. I placed my hands over his. My back fit perfectly into his chest and tummy. He placed his forehead against the back of my head, resting it on my perfectly straight, bright blonde hair.“I’m sorry,” he whispered.“For what?”“For this.”I smiled, “I’m not. I love doing this with you.” The embarrassment left my body, I felt more confident.“It shouldn’t be with me though. It never should have been.”I pushed his arms a bit and he let go. I turned around to face him, and wrapped my arms around him and dug my face into this chest. His grip re-tightened around my back. I turned my face to one side, resting it against his chest.