My name is Stefan Albright and I’ve got a story to tell you. It’s about me and some of my fellow black folks. I’ve decided to speak the truth about the Black Church, faith, and sexuality. I don’t know why but sometimes I like going to church. I was raised in a catholic family but I’m not really into the whole religion thing. The leaders of the church remind me too much of politicians. They tell you what you want to hear and then they take your money. Yes, politics and religion had a little too much in common if you ask me. A lot of young black men like myself go to church because their families pressure them and also because that’s how they were raised.
I’ve never been the kind of guy who falls under pressure or lets people mess with him. I left my house at the age of eighteen and I haven’t been back since. I worked hard at various jobs and along the way, I attended Bunker Hill Community College at night. I eventually got myself an Associate’s degree in Criminal Justice and a scholarship, if you can believe that. I won myself an academic scholarship to any four-year state college of my choice. I picked the University of Massachusetts in Boston because I like the big city. I found myself a nice little apartment not far from campus and I was doing alright for myself. I like living alone, especially after the nightmare that my family life has been. I lost both of my parents a long time ago.
I got stuck living with my aunt, a real psycho if there ever was one, her meek husband and her snotty kids. Yes, life was no picnic in this house and I left as soon as I could. So many dysfunctional families in America, especially black families. You’ve got absentee fathers, crazy mothers and lousy kids. Is it any wonder that a lot of young black men refuse to get married? The last thing I wanted was to get stuck in a house with a loud-mouthed bitch who wanted to control my life and get all my money. No thank you. I wanted to become a lawyer someday, you know, make it in this life. I didn’t need any drama.
While in Boston, I met this young black guy named Jeff Hanover. He was a student at my campus too, a Math major. He asked to come visit his church one of these days. One Sunday, I accepted. I got ready before he got there. I was wearing a blue shirt and black pants. Also, my favorite black Timberland boots. Yes, I looked fine. He picked me up at the crib and drove me there. The church was located in Dorchester. I went in and met some of the people. They were all black people. Jeff introduced me to the Youth Group. They were basically this bunch of college-age young black men and women. Always discussing religion. Like I said, I’m not into the whole religion thing and I told them that I didn’t particularly trust church leaders since they were way too much like politicians. They make promises, take your money and don’t deliver. I’ve had enough of that.
Those were the words I said to them during my first meeting. Surprisingly, they laughed and agreed with me. We were all young people here but we were used to being betrayed. I noticed that some of the Youth Group members looked pretty good. There was this tall, pretty young black woman named Leigh Brown. I checked her out the moment she came in. She was so fine-looking. Around five-nine, chocolate-skinned, slender but curvy in the rear. I also noticed some of the good-looking guys. There was Tom Darcy, a tall and athletic-looking caramel-colored brother and James Stone, a dark-skinned guy with a bald fade. Yes, I was in good-looking company.
When the group meeting ended, they hounded me with questions like I was some kind of celebrity. I laughed at that. So, yeah, sometimes, I would come to church and attend the group meetings. I got the chance to talk to Leigh and got her phone number. I called her one night and she didn’t bore me with Bible talk like I expected but she was rather smart and interesting. We talked about sports, movies and the state of the affairs in Black America. I could tell that almanbahis this girl was smart. I didn’t know that she was a graduate of Northeastern University. Smart and pretty, nice!
I asked her out but she seemed to be a bit hesitant. Oh, well. I started talking to James. James was probably the coolest member of the group. He was good-looking and also easy to talk to. He seemed fairly liberal, compared to the conservative people in the black church. He was popular with the girls and he had a girlfriend but I also noticed him checking me out. Of course, I decided to holler at a brother. One day, I asked him if he wanted to hang out in town and he agreed. We met at the train station and went to hang out at the movie theater. We watched an action movie.
Later, we had dinner inside Copley Mall. I enjoyed talking to James. He was a smart guy and he was also very interesting. The dude had a Bachelors degree in Business and he was working for a small company in Woburn. Like me, he was a poor young black man who pulled himself up through his intelligence and skills. I could definitely relate to him. After our first time hanging out, I decided that I liked this guy.
Although I liked James, I wasn’t sure what to make of him. He looked straight but that doesn’t mean anything. I’ve fucked a lot of straight-looking brothers in my twenty three years on this earth. He showed me pictures of his longtime girlfriend Sarah. I looked at a picture of a pretty light-skinned girl. Yes, his girl looked good. He seemed to be tense but I decided to test him. I asked him if he was gay or bisexual. The dude looked at me like I had punched him. I immediately regretted that. Bad move!
I am very comfortable with myself and my sexuality. I consider myself bisexual. Most black men who had sexual relationships with men didn’t consider themselves gay or bisexual. They considered themselves straight.
That’s where the whole Down Low thing came from. There’s even books about this shit. I didn’t go around telling people about my business but I was comfortable with myself. James obviously wasn’t. He got up to leave.
I gently asked him not to. He hesitated, then took off. I watched him leave and shook my head.
I had made a mistake with James. He wasn’t ready for that. I sighed. I sat by myself inside the restaurant and looked at other people. Men and women walking around holding hands. Sometimes, I felt jealous of straight people. The world belongs to them. They have all the rights. All the power. GLBT People were the underdogs. There was a time when I would have done anything to become heterosexual. I wanted to rid myself of my attraction to men. But I couldn’t. I eventually learned to accept myself just the way I was. A man who was attracted to both men and women. James wasn’t like me. He was still confused and in denial. He might never get over his self-loathing. This was the sad reality for countless gay, lesbian transsexual and bisexual people worldwide.
I was still sitting there, looking all sad and stuff when I noticed someone who looked familiar. It was Leigh. The girl looked good. She wore a red dress that showed off all her curves and was sexy as hell. Damn, wasn’t she a church woman? I waved at her and she saw me. She smiled and walked toward me. We shook hands and she sat down next to me.
I didn’t know the girl had enough money to shop in a rich spot like Copley Mall but hell, apparently she did. We talked and she got something to eat. As we spoke, I discovered that the Leigh I saw in church and the Leigh I saw sitting across from me were two very different people.
For starters, this girl looked way hotter! Man, we were talking for hours. I wanted to know every damn thing about her. I also wanted to forget my fiasco with James Stone. I couldn’t believe the mistake I made with this guy. He was so fine, we could have had fun together. I put him out of mind and focused on the sexy young woman sitting across from me. Leigh confessed almanbahis yeni giriş that she had been checking me out at church and thought I was sexy as hell. I smiled when she told me that and I did something uncharacteristically bold. I asked her if she wanted to chill with me at my crib for a while. Surprisingly, she accepted.
We left Copley Mall and went back to my apartment. My place was neat as usual. A two-bedroom, one-bathroom, one-kitchen, one-living room affair. All for seven hundred a month. Not bad, considering I made nine hundred a week working as an armed guard at Citizens Bank. Yes, this brother is licensed to carry firearms. Leigh saw my place and thought it looked nice. I offered her a drink and we sat together on a couch in my living room. She was sitting awfully close to me and touching me as we talked, which I took for a good sign.
Before I knew it, we were making out on the couch. All thoughts of James and his dark and masculine body fled from my mind when Leigh put her hand on my dick and felt me through my pants. I sighed. She smiled. We began undressing each other, slowly. Pretty soon, we were both naked and looking at each other curiously and I dare say lustfully. I wanted this girl.
Man, she went straight for the dick. She just grabbed my cock and took it into her mouth. I watched as she greedily sucked my cock and balls. I never would have thought this church-going black woman had this side to her.
Females are all freaks underneath it all. All of them have a slut side to them. It just takes certain situations to bring it out.
As Leigh sucked me off, I dipped my finger into her pussy. This seemed to encourage her to suck me harder. I was thrusting into her mouth like there was no tomorrow and she was taking all that I had to give. It wasn’t long before I came. She drank my seed, gulped it all down without spilling a drop. I asked her where she had picked up such talents and she told me that she was the assistant manager of the Men’s Soccer team in college and sometimes sucked off her favorite guy to help relieve them of stress before matches against rival teams. Nice! This girl was a team player.
I decided to return the favor and began eating her out. I fingered her pussy and licked her clit. I also licked her asshole. She gasped when I slid a finger in her tight little asshole. I looked at her. She liked this stuff. Cool. I slipped first one then two fingers in there. This church-going black female was no stranger to anal sex. I ate her pussy and fingered her, making her cum. I also fucked her ass with my fingers. Leigh smiled and thanked me for this. I held my hard cock in hand and rubbed it against her asshole.
She grimaced nastily and told me to stick it in. What do you think I did?
I slowly slid my cock into Leigh’s ass. Her hungry asshole swallowed my member. Leigh raised her sexy legs in the air and lay flat on her back while I began pumping my cock into her ass. I’ve fucked a lot of guys in the ass but this was the first time my hard black dick went up a female’s ass. I grabbed her by the hips and thrust into her. Her ass was warm and tight. Just the way I liked them. I pumped it into her for a long time until the viselike tightness caused me to spurt. I came inside her.
Leigh screamed like a woman possessed and I pulled out of her. Half an hour later, she showered and left.
The following Sunday, I went to church with Jeff. I saw Leigh. She was once again the proper young black church lady. Well-dressed and conservative in her opinions. What a crock! I haven’t had that much experience with females because in all honesty, I prefer males but this chick was a sexual tornado. She hid it well, that’s all. I saw James Stone. He was holding hands with his girlfriend, the lovely Sarah. I looked at them both. They looked good together. I wonder how many black men and black women I
saw in church every weekend had secret gay and bisexual lives. Most Black men who almanbahis giriş slept with other men didn’t advertise their secret lives. I’m pretty sure that a lot of Black females out there are doing it with other females on the down low too.
So much denial in Black America! I noticed James looking at me. I ignored him. I stepped outside the church for a moment and went to buy some chocolate. The ceremony takes too long sometimes. It gets on my nerves. James followed me outside. I looked at him. He looked really good. He wore a red shirt and black pants. He was very good-looking.
I asked him what he wanted. Surprisingly, he apologized and claimed that he still wanted to be friends with me. I was shocked but shook his hand.
He gave me a manly hug and then went back.
I went home that day smiling. Having a sexy Black man like James hug me definitely made up my day. Imagine my surprise when I saw him knocking on my door, two hours later. Here he was, looking so damn sexy. I looked at him and smiled. He asked me if he could come in. I nodded.
He came inside and I locked the door. No sooner had I locked the door that James did something very unusual. I swear it’s the truth. The brother grabbed me and kissed me. It was a long, passionate kiss. I’m pretty sure it was the first time James had kissed another man. When it ended, I looked at him, blown away.
I’ve never been kissed like that by anyone, male or female. This dude had some great potential. He was looking at me, looking lost and so damn sexy. I offered him a seat. He sat on my couch and we began talking. The guy was looking so sexy. I found him very attractive and wanted him quite badly but I didn’t want to take advantage of an inexperienced young Black man like him. What he needed right now was someone to talk to,
not someone to fuck. James had a lot of questions and I had a lot of answers.
We talked a bout so many things. James wanted to know if I was gay or bisexual. I told him the truth. I had relations with both men and women. Usually black people but I’ve hooked up with a white woman once, a divorced carpenter in her early forties. Man, this guy was really new to these things. He told me that he had always thought of himself as a straight guy and was very attracted to his girlfriend Sarah. He also told me that he enjoyed having sex with her but sometimes, he had dreams of other men at night. He told me that I was one of those men he sometimes dreamed of. I was very flattered.
I told him about the life. I broke down terms like Down Low and top and bottom. I also felt like telling him about the seedy part of gay and bisexual black life in America but wanted to spare him the unpleasant stuff.
Instead, I told him about some of the good things. I knew a black man from New York named Bruce Anderson and he was living with his partner Roger, another gay black man. Both of these black men had been together for decades. They had raised children together and loved each other deeply. James mused on that. He told me that although he felt attracted to men, he couldn’t imagine wanted to live with one. He wanted to lead a normal life.
I listened to him as he spoke. He was amazing. He reminded me of my younger self in so many ways. I remembered my early days as a young black man who was struggling to accept his bisexuality in a world that feared and hated him. That’s when I made a decision. I would be James
friend, if he let me. Although he was quite possibly the sexiest black guy I’ve ever met, I wanted to be his friend. Too many young gay and bisexual men have no role models. I wasn’t perfect. I was sometimes promiscuous. But I wasn’t a bad guy. I cared about this young man.
That’s when it all began. James and I became friends. I vowed to myself that I would become his guide on all matters concerning the lifestyle of
Gay and bisexual black men. He would not be alone. Maybe he would remain closeted his whole life, get married, have kids and have secret encounters on the side. That’s what most gay and bisexual black men did.
Or maybe he would accept himself and find acceptance and peace someday.
Whatever he decided, I would be there for him. That’s my vow.