Can’t Win for Losing


Man there’s more to that old saying than I ever realized. Just when I thought things were going pretty well in my life, something totally unexpected comes along to make it better, followed by something so radical that I begin to wonder if I’ve made some bad choices in how I’ve changed my life. I guess to understand what I’m saying, I need to fill you in more about me. Hi, my name is Kathy. I’m married to a wonderful guy, have a great family, live in a middle class type of neighborhood where nothing out of the ordinary goes on. I survived a semi closeted childhood where sex was never discussed. Do you remember the book that came out in the 70’s called “Everything You Wanted to Know About Sex, But Were Afraid to Ask”? A copy was strategically located so I could find it in I was in eight grade. It answered a lot of questions I was afraid to ask anyone about. I had older siblings, but I couldn’t talk to them. Talk to my parents?? Are you nuts? Everyone else my age was just as stupid as I was, they were of no help either. So I loved it when the house was empty except for me, and I could pull the book out and learn all kinds of neat and interesting things. It was my first exposure to anything close to erotic writing. The only problem was it left me frustrated as hell, not being old enough to experiment except in the privacy of my own bedroom. Absolutely amazing what items around the house a young female can find to play with.

Thus I entered my early twenties still a virgin of sorts. Oh the hymen was gone by then, I’d taken care of that somewhere along the way, but I’d never had a date. I was constantly too busy studying, and no guy my age wanted to ask a girl out that wore glasses or got better grades than he did in physics. I was a threat I guess. Pity really, that I lost so much time compared to other girls my age. But I made up for it once I met the man of my dreams and married him. We learned about love and sex together and we were damn fine at it too, so we thought. But like many young couples, we got into the rut of the same old thing. With babies to take care of, house work to be done, working outside the home as well, I tended to resent the fact that I couldn’t be myself. I always had to be something for someone else. Needless to say, I let things go. Like my looks. I gained weight with each pregnancy and never could seem to lose it. As a result, I also lost my self esteem, something I’d had plenty of up to baby number one coming on the scene. For my own protection, I’d built a shell around myself. I wouldn’t even let the husband break into it for fear of finding out how unhappy I was. As if he didn’t know. Late night discussions after I was dead tired from a day’s work, always ended up in me being at fault for not wanting anything to do with sex. Sound familiar to anyone? Only with time and the family getting older, did I realize I wasn’t the only woman to go through this. I just hadn’t learned how to deal with it correctly until the Internet came around and I started finding out that men don’t mind a woman with some intellect. Imagine that!!! Same reason my husband chose me in the first place. I just didn’t believe him when he told me. I needed someone else to point it out for confirmation.

So as I hit the forty year mark, I was ‘reborn’. I lost the weight. I flirted on the net. I found out that I could be myself and not act dumb around men and my husband reaped all the rewards. Poor guy sure deserved to after putting up with the rough years of the twenties and thirties. He even got interested in someone on here. We’d have some great sex sessions while one of esenyurt escort us was talking to a ‘friend’. As long as the kids were to bed, it’s great being on the floor in front of the computer chair, giving a blow job while your spouse is having cybersex online. I love seeing how hard it is to type a complete sentence when his cock is in my mouth and my head is blocking the screen. At least I leave him two hands to type with, right? And for the most part, the cyber partner is ok with long pauses in the screen conversation, while I straddle his lap and move up and down his exposed cock. As if they could do anything about it. I’ve got the advantage of availability over them and I make use of it.

I was so glad when those short skirts came back into style. I’ve got a great set of legs, even if I say so myself. I’m not real tall, but I’ve got a long inseam, small ankles, shapely curved calves, nicely muscled thighs and an ass that goes to ……………well you know where…..grin. When he stretches his legs out in front of the chair, I love climbing up on his lap and facing him so I can grab the back of the chair. Gives me great leverage for the slow up and down movements, (part of the reason my calves and thighs are in such good shape. I get a lot of exercise this way). Anyway, those skirts make it so easy to slip over him, cos I refuse to wear panties around the house. Heck come to think of it, I refuse to wear them at all. Makes things too hard to get at if the opportunity should arise. And things do rise up for attention when a cyber chat gets started.

Now when I’m talking online, we quite often do things a little different….he loves to stand behind me and start massaging my neck and shoulders. I tend to tense up sometimes, and he knows me well enough to realize that all it takes to start pushing my magic buttons is to touch me. Slowly and softly, caressing my skin, undressing me while I ‘talk’ about making love to a cyber partner. Some of the guys are so good about it. They get turned on by knowing he’s in the room with me, and they’ll start telling him what to do. He obliges to most everything, but occasionally they’re moving or typing to slow for us. He reads me well and knows when I need to slow down or when I need to cum. Love that man and his talents. Always the gentleman, he brings the towels for me to sit on. It’s much easier on the furniture. You see, I’m a squirter. Not just on occasion, but every time. And I’ve finally learned that it’s not some freak of nature for a female to be that way. So I make use of the fact every chance I can get.

One time I was chatting along building the story and getting the guy hotter than hell, (or so he said), when I had my jeans unsnapped from behind and pulled off my legs. The next thing I know I’m changing the story online to what’s happening behind me, where my butt is getting licked and kissed to pieces. There was a hand reaching around in front of me to cup my pussy and start working it over. Quick thrusts and jabs took over control of my juicing. He smeared the excess up my crack and the next thing I knew I was getting hammered from behind while I was getting written a story on the screen. We missed the towels that night and I had a mess on the floor to wipe up afterwards. Smile….who cared, we sure didn’t, we were having fun. What’s a little honey to wipe up?

As we got more into being braver online, we also got interested in having a real time thing so we could expand our experiences. Problem was finding a couple who thought like we did. Amazingly, we found istanbul escort them closer to home than we thought and they were already friends. It only took the guys talking one day about sex to realize the four of us had a mutual need to explore some other areas of sexual pursuits, namely another couple’s intimacies . Plans were made to get together in a few weeks time and see what developed.

Now no matter what your brain tells you about any pre planned meeting like that, it never goes quite the way you want it to. Least that’s what I’ve found out. As far as physical attributes, the four of us are average, nothing outstanding, nothing ugly enough that you want two paper bags, one for their head and one for yours. Never having been with another couple, my spouse and I weren’t really sure what to expect. We both knew what we liked and how we liked to do things, but doing a foursome was starting from scratch again. And man who wants to go back to the time they first had a sexual encounter and were awkward as hell. Where we like to have a lot of foreplay before screwing, this couple got down and dirty immediately. I’d rather have my clothes removed slowly, temptingly. She just dropped the drawers and was down to the panties and bra minutes after we walked in the door. Guess the porn flick they put on the TV was enough to get her going, I never have figured that out.

Well since we were their guests, we decided to play by their ‘rules’. So my accommodating husband dove into her pussy and pretty soon had a sporting hard on. At least I got to enjoy watching him play around. The other guy ended up between my thighs and got a surprise shower when I squirted the first time. He’d never had that happen before in his life and I guess the two men hadn’t gotten around to the fact of discussing what my talents were. Unfortunately, I’m very astute to a person’s reactions to my explosions and his undid my mood real quick. None the less I persevered and decided to see if I could give him some enjoyment while he was watching his wife get humped on the other side of the room. Poor guy must have been very self conscious, I never did get him up with my mouth that night and I’ve been told I’m pretty damn good at it. Another thing we learned that evening was the fact she’s a female that has one hell of a time getting an orgasm. Must be part of the reason they wanted to try something different. After about an hour she had one. Me? I was just sitting in the chair by then feeling very uncomfortable with the whole situation. But I kept it to myself and just let it all pass in front of my eyes. When we got home later in the evening I got relief from the frustration at the talented hands and mouth of my husband. Thank god for blessings in life.

Well that wasn’t the last time we tried new things. I wasn’t totally against finding someone or some couple to try again with. Eventually several months later the opportunity came along again, with better results. This time I discovered I have some bi tendencies. We met with a mutual friend of ours that was between relationships and wanted to have a threesome. I know how much my husband had fantasized about having two females take care of his needs at the same time, and I figured what a birthday present this would be. I arranged for her to meet us at a nearby motel after I’d taken him out for a birthday supper, never hinting that our night alone wasn’t going to be alone.

I had given her one key to the room before we went to supper, so she’d be in the room when we got there. Imagine his surprise when beylikdüzü escort I led him into the room. There she was on the bed, in a long tailed shirt with nothing underneath. I took his hand, moved him to the bed itself and pushed him back on to it. Between her and I we stripped the boy down to his birthday suit in no time and proceeded to give him a dual blow job from heaven. She and I would take turns having our pussies in his face while sucking his hard shaft. What we didn’t prepare for was accidentally touching tongues on one of the up-licks and discovering that we liked the feel of each other’s mouths. Before long we were breast to breast, french kissing and touching each other’s nether regions, discovering the fact that women are wonderful creatures to make love to. Now the poor guy didn’t get totally left out, it was his birthday after all. He just didn’t get to make it with us. He got to watch one hell of a video afterward too, ‘cos we filmed the entire thing.

Live and learn I guess. We, as a couple, had yet to find that perfect experience. We’d gotten some enjoyment from our extra encounters, but still hadn’t found the match we were searching for. Oh well, maybe it wasn’t really out there after all. Or maybe we had something so special ourselves that nothing we could find outside our own marriage and bedroom would match what our imaginations thought was possible. We’d about given up hope when another opportunity cropped up. It had been over a year since we had been with the other couple. I’d done a lot of soul searching to see where I went wrong since I couldn’t seem to make the gentleman comfortable with me. I’d talked to a lot of people on here about the situation and they all said the guy was crazy not to take advantage of what I had to offer, that it wasn’t me, but was him. Well that boosted my ego enough over time to allow me to take another chance at it. I just adopted the attitude I was going to have fun and not worry about how anyone else felt. I was going to relax and strut my stuff for once.

You know what the best part of getting past 40 is for me. Learning that I am sensual when I let myself be. Learning to love my body and how it reacts to the touch of another human being. Learning to say what it is I like to have done, how I like to be cuddled and caressed and teased till I can’t stand it anymore. Learning to show a man how to hold me, how to touch my pussy, how to finger me, how to lick the outside while he’s spreading my lips with his hand, how to rub the clit till it’s as hard as his cock and knowing that when I let myself succumb to the pleasure it gives me, that I glow from the inside out and that light in my eyes makes me beautiful to the beholder. And the night we got together with the other couple again, I was just that. I could see it mirrored in my husbands eyes as he watched me sitting on the couch with another man’s head between my thighs, drinking every drop of honey I produced. I could feel it in my husbands arms as he held me to his chest and watched over my shoulder while another cock was buried deep within the folds of my pussy, and when I was sitting on his cock with another one buried in my tight little hole at the same time. I came so many times that night we ran out of towels, and when the other gal commented to me that she couldn’t believe I could cum so often, I just shrugged my shoulders and said…it’s just the way I am. That was just before the three of us brought her to her second orgasm of the evening. Something new for her to experience.

Well you’d think that was the conclusion to this short story. I was walking on air for several days afterward. Then the bombshell hit once again. A neighbor dropped by and got way too suggestive and assertive and didn’t want to take no for an answer. I finally got him out of the house before I got more than I wanted to experience. Now I ask you…why is it you can’t win for losing sometimes?

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