Soul to Soul: Healing His Harem
Part II: Finding the Harem
In which our Hero finds out the true meaning of love and pleasure and the pain of loss. Over and over again.
Chapter 13: Protector – Atiena, Part II
Different eyes see different things
Different hearts beat on different strings
But there are times
For you and me, when all such things agree
-Rush, Different Strings
Jake faded in and out of consciousness over the next four days. He had been so severely injured that it was touch and go for a bit. There had been some swelling in his brain from a concussion, and it was a scary time for Atiena. He would wake up sometimes mostly coherent, and he would usually tell her how beautiful she was. Other times, he would talk nonsense – something about a bear named Kai? And then he would speak in some strange language, she thought maybe Japanese. Can you learn a language from hitting your head?
*****
For his part, Jake felt as if he was floating most of the time. Strange visions passed through his head, and he didn’t know what was real. He hoped that the beautiful ebony goddess he saw sometimes was real because she made him feel safe. When he looked at her when he was aware, she stared back at him with such a protective look on her face.
There were times when he was visited by Kaiah and Aiko. He didn’t know if it was real, but they helped him to hold on through the worst of it. He would talk with them, and they always gave him words of comfort before he would go to sleep again.
*****
After a few days, Atiena decided that he needed to be cleaned up. She had removed his shirt near the beginning, but he still had on the torn pants that she had found him in. So the next time he woke up coherent, she fed him again and then prepared a small bucket with some warm water and a sponge. She brought them to the bedside. She asked him, “How are you feeling today, Jake?”
He lay there thinking about it without trying to sit up – he had had enough of that during the past few days. He knew now that he may be down for a while. “I’m feeling a little better, thank you. I don’t feel as much like I am floating, and a little of the soreness and pain seems to be fading.”
She laid a hand on his forehead and said, “Your fever seems to be doing much better, I think you are recovering well now.”
“How long was I out of it?” he asked.
“Four days, and for some of it I wasn’t sure you were going to make it.”
He thought for a moment and asked, “Um…Atiena? I don’t know how to ask this, but…if I’ve been out for four days, how have I…um…” He didn’t know how to ask, so he just said it. “How have I gone to the bathroom?”
She smiled and said, “I have a nurse friend who lent me a bedpan.”
He said, “I can’t thank you enough for saving me – both with the attackers and in the time since. You have been an angel to me. And as beautiful as one as well,” he heard his mouth say. He blushed furiously, not sure why he said that.
She smiled down at him and said, “You are welcome. I like to help those who cannot help themselves.” She then said, “For that, I am now going to wash you. Keeping you clean will only help your healing. And with that, she peeled back the sheets from his body.
He protested, “You don’t have to do that!”
But she overrode him and said, “My mother always told me of the importance of staying clean. It is what I need to do. And, my friend, I don’t know that you could stop me.” He looked up at her in alarm, but when he saw humor twinkling in her eyes, he laughed.
“In all seriousness,” she told him, “if you ask me to stop, I will stop. I will not do this if you do not want me to.”
He thought about it and said, “Atiena, I’m OK with it. I’m just not sure about having you do it for me. How old are you? 25? Listen, I’m a lot older than you, and I don’t want you to have to deal with a naked old man.”
She sat there staring at him for a second and then burst out laughing. Of all the things he could have said, that was not one that he had expected. “Oh my goodness Jake, you are funny!” And with that, she took off the sheets that were covering him.
He blushed again, and when he did, she said, “Your face turns so red when you are embarrassed. How can you hide what you are feeling?”
He told her, “I don’t. If I get embarrassed, you will know.”
She said, “Well Jake, I think that it is cute.”
She got quiet and a little studious in what she was doing, but she was still shocked when Jake said, “I think I might be able to tell when you are embarrassed as well.” She looked at him in surprise, and then laughed at the twinkle in HIS eye as well.
“Well, it’s time for me to get this done.” She stood up and undid his pants, and carefully to avoid hurting his bruised and battered body, peeled his pants and boxers off of him.
She was a little surprised to see his soft penis – it was so different from what she had been used to – the three that had molested her etimesgut escort for all of those years had always been hard, and they were black. His soft, white member looked…small?
She found herself staring at him wondering if all white men were so small.
Jake saw that she was staring at him, and when she didn’t stop, he wondered if she was interested, and to his shame, it caused his dick to start to harden. He wanted to reach down to cover himself, but that would just call attention to what was happening.
Atiena saw his dick start to move and to get larger. Ah….maybe he’s not so small after all, she said to herself. Then she realized that she had been staring and got embarrassed. “Jake,” she said, trying to cover, “I’ll wash you now.”
She took the sponge and the warm water and washed his torso. She was impressed at the hardness of his muscles – a lot of guys his age seemed to have gone completely soft. She murmured softly, “you must work at this.”
He told her the story of getting fat overweight and deciding to work on himself. “You can see all of the extra skin,” he said deprecatingly.
But she shook her head. “That makes this all the more impressive. Just think what I could do with you…”
He swallowed twice before speaking again, his mind going wild, making his cock jump a little. “What do you mean?”
She laughed and said, “I sometimes work as a personal trainer. Most of my clients in your position don’t want to work at it. But if you’ve already come this far…”
He laughed back, and he said, “Maybe we will get the chance sometime.”
She just nodded and continued his bath. His legs went without incident, and then…
Still blushing, not really having stopped this entire time, Jake said, “Listen, you don’t have to wash my…” And he gulped as she reached out and grabbed his cock. Instantly it was harder than ever, and when he looked down, he saw his white cock sticking up out of her dark hand. The contrast was so fascinating that he forgot to say any more.
Atiena swallowed hard herself. She wasn’t sure what she was going to do when she got here, but in the end this was the first cock she had grabbed out of her own free will rather than having it forced on her. She loved the fact that she had a choice in the matter, and she loved that he had been in the middle of telling him that she didn’t have to.
“Nonsense,” she finally got out. “This needs to be clean as well.” So she sponged off his cock and his balls, causing him to squirm in pleasure just a little.
That being done, she said, “OK, now we need to roll you over. I know you are still sore and tender, but I’ll be gentle.”
He just looked at her and said, “I trust you.”
Her breath caught at that, and she smiled as she gently helped him on to his stomach. He only cried out once.
Having washed off his entire back, she concluded that he was clean. Instead of putting dirty clothes on him, she just pulled the sheets up around him.
*****
Jake couldn’t believe how good it felt to be taken care of by her. It was so nice, she was kind and thoughtful, and he just knew that he would be safe. “Atiena, you are something special, do you know that? Not many people would take care of a stranger like this, and nobody else attempted to save me. Thank you.”
She smiled at him and said, “Jake, there are not many guys who would tell me to not wash their cock, or would ask me to do more when I finished. You did not, and you haven’t done anything towards me that has made me feel uncomfortable. It is for that that I am happy that I can do this for you.”
She then said, “I have to go for the day – my employer gave me a little time off when I told him of the fight with the street gang, but those gangs are exactly why he needs me.”
“What do you do for work?” Jake asked.
“Well, I told you I’m a part-time personal trainer, but I am a full-time bodyguard for the richest merchant in town. I protect his daughter.”
Jake nodded thoughtfully. “That’s why you were able to take out those attackers so easily.”
She smiled at the compliment. “I will be back tonight with dinner. Please stay in bed and get some rest.
*****
The days rolled by, each one nearly the same as the previous one. Atiena would get breakfast ready and feed him, and when he was healed enough, she would help him to the bathroom. After a week, he started to sit up in bed, and after another week of that, his dizziness finally left.
He didn’t know what he should be doing – he knew that he was in the right place, with the right person, but he didn’t feel right about trying to do anything with her. She seemed to have some pain involved with sex – nothing he could put his finger on, but reading between the lines and reading her expressions, she had been hurt before.
So he just did what she suggested, and he kept healing.
*****
The bathing became almost a ritual. Atiena had been very turned etlik escort on by the sight of this naked white man, and the fact that he hadn’t tried to do anything with her intrigued her. She was used to angry brutish men, but Jake was different. He was kind, he was gentle, and he was very thoughtful.
But after a couple of days, she wanted to see him naked again. So she grabbed the bucket, some hot water, and the sponge, and announced that it was time again. Jake seemed embarrassed again, but when it was time to wash his cock again, she couldn’t help but feel its length and hardness. She had wondered if she would have a problem seeing a cock again after her assaults, but this one – this man – had done nothing to her, and so she didn’t feel bad about it.
Every time the bath time came, she played with the cock longer and longer. One day it got to where Jake was breathing pretty hard. He was about to stop her when she had him roll over and she washed his back again.
Jake thought to himself, I’d better talk with her before things go any further.
*****
The next bath day came a full 4 weeks after the attack. She pulled the sheets off of him, did a cursory swiping of his face and chest, and then grabbed his cock. It wasn’t fully hard yet, sometimes it took a minute or two of playing, so she started to stroke it.
She was shocked when Jake’s hands grabbed hers. He sat up and pulled her hands off of him. “Atiena – that feels wonderful, but we need to talk.”
She hung her head, thinking to herself, Oh my god – have I been doing the same thing to him as was done to me? Am I pushing myself on him, regardless of what he is feeling?
“Jake, I’m sorry for abusing you. I don’t know what came over me.”
She started to stand up, but Jake reached out and grabbed her hand. “Atiena! Listen to me – you have done absolutely nothing that wasn’t welcome. I have enjoyed it, probably more than I should have – you are so much younger than me.
“It isn’t that you aren’t welcome or that I didn’t like it. I just get the feeling that there’s something in your past, something that hurt you terribly. I can see something in your eyes, some pain, when you talk about sex of any kind, and even when you are touching me – I can see something in there.
“Atiena, I would like to talk to you and get to know you. If at the end of the talk you still want to do this, then I will be happy to.”
He stopped talking, and the silence stretched out. Shit, he thought. I’ve screwed it up. I must have overreached, and now she won’t talk to me ever again.
But he was shocked to hear her softly crying. She was looking down, her shoulders shaking, and tears on her cheeks.
“Oh my god Atiena, I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have presumed. Please just forget what I said.”
*****
Atiena couldn’t believe what she had heard him say. How did he know that she had been assaulted? How did he know that she needed to talk about it? And how did he know exactly the right thing to say?
As he apologized, she threw her arms around him and grabbed on to him as if he were a life raft in a raging ocean. The torrent of tears surprised them both. He just held on to her and started to stroke her hair. It was the most comforting thing he could think of.
Even more shocking was when she suddenly sat up and said, “God dammit, I promised I would never shed a tear over those assholes!” And then surprised herself by laughing.
She looked at Jake and nodded. “Maybe we should talk.”
Jake backed up until his back was against the wall and he grabbed the sheets to cover himself. Having been naked for weeks now, he wasn’t worried about his chest, but he thought he should be covered at least somewhat.
“Jake, I am going to tell you a story. You are going to hear some terrible things. And at the end, you can decide if you want to continue knowing me anymore.”
Jake said, “There’s nothing…”
But she placed a finger over his lips and said, “Jake, I need you to listen and to reserve judgment until I am done.”
He just nodded.
*****
She spoke of growing up poor and being left to her own devices. It sounded like a good enough childhood, until she described her first rape at an 18. He found himself crying as she described nearly daily assaults for years. She had become resigned to being helpless. He felt her helplessness as she described it, and it paralleled what he had felt when the four men were attacking her.
She talked about, when she was about 19, deciding to get stronger. She was getting tall, and she thought that maybe she could get fast enough to run away and strong enough to get away from them when they grabbed her. He smiled at her encouragingly when she looked at him at this point.
She was nervous to go on. She thought he could handle her rapes, as she didn’t have any choice in the matter. But her attack was different.
“Jake…please don’t judge me for what you hear next.” He just eve gelen escort sat quietly listening.
She told him of how she realized that she was strong at age 24. How she realized that she would not accept it any further. She described her brutal attack on the three of them. “In the end, one of them died of his wounds, and the other two were crippled. I know it may make you not want to talk to me again, but I don’t regret any of it. They were all three of them monsters, using a little girl for their pleasure, and they deserved all of it!” She was shouting by the end, and her tears were streaming down her face again.
Jake was shocked. Not by what she had done, but that she thought he might feel badly towards her because of it. He reached out and gently raised her head to look at him. “Atiena – listen to me. I – COULD – NOT – AGREE – MORE. Those assholes deserved everything they got. You were abused for years, and no-one could blame you for what you did. I’m glad you stood up for yourself!”
She shook with relief and collapsed on the bed beside him. She cried again, this time tears of relief, tears of catharsis. He just stroked her head until she was done.
She said up finally and said, “Dammit – that’s twice now. I never wanted to cry over them.”
But Jake shook his head and said, “Atiena, you aren’t crying over those monsters. You are crying over your own lost innocence and childhood. You didn’t deserve that. You deserved to be an innocent child. You deserved to receive love. You deserved to keep your virginity intact until you decided to give it away, not to have it taken from you by force.
“So go ahead and cry. Not for them – they don’t deserve a single tear from you ever. But cry for yourself. You deserve every ounce of compassion that you can give to yourself. Just know that I am crying for you as well.”
He was right, as he was still crying from her story.
They sat silently together for a while, just enjoying the silence. Then finally Jake said, “Atiena, I know now why I stopped you. I had somehow felt that there was something that you needed to tell me before you did anything.
“There is a little more to the story as well. You were apologizing for attempting to do the same thing to me that those assholes did to you. Can I tell you why that isn’t the case?”
She nodded, wondering where he was going with this.
So Jake told her of his life and experiences. He talked about his loveless marriage and how he had never felt, until recently, the touch of a woman who wanted to touch him. He told her of his wife’s death and of his Vision Quest.
He paused and asked her, “Can I trust you if I tell you something that might be hard to believe?” She was curious, and nodded. “Atiena – I believe that I was sent here to find you, and to help you.” He told her of the bear and of Kaiah.
At the name, Atiena stood up and yelped. “No way – no fucking way…” she whispered. Jake was hoping she would have this reaction. “Is she a tiny slip of a girl, with caramel skin and long black hair? She has a voice like music…”
Atiena had trailed off, but Jake nodded. “That’s Kaiah. I don’t know what you believe, but she is a Crow Indian medicine woman. The Crow Indians are a tribe of the people who first lived in my country, before my country existed. I believe that she sent me here. She has sent me here for three months to help you.” Atiena sat down hard, completely at a loss for words.
He hesitated a moment and said, “Atiena, the day you saved me, I had woken up in a hotel room here in Mombasa. I don’t know how I got here, I just know that Kaiah sent me. She knew that you needed me. I don’t know what it is that I’m supposed to do, but I am here now, and I want to help you. It is what Kaiah wants.”
Atiena nodded. “Jake, I have seen her in my dreams. Many, many times. She came to me when I blacked out when the boys were raping me. She came to me the night I hurt so bad I thought I was going to die. And she came to me the night before I saw you being attacked. All she said was, ‘He comes, little sister.'” He knew then that Atiena believed him, and he silently thanked Kaiah.
“Atiena – I told you my story because I wanted you to know that the touch of a woman who wants to touch me is not only welcome – it is what I have craved for most of my life, and it has been denied me. So when you were touching me earlier, it was most welcome. It felt amazing, and I loved it. I would have told you if it was not welcome.
“But I also know that sex to you was something that was ripped from you. I don’t want to be a part of perpetuating that. So until you tell me otherwise, I will not touch you in any way. If you ask me to, I will, but every contact between us will be at YOUR discretion. YOU get to decide when, where, and how we interact, and YOU get to decide how far it goes.”
She looked at him in wonder. She had always hoped that there would be someone who would understand. could it be…? “But what about what YOU want, Jake?”
Jake shook his head. “It’s not about what one person wants. It doesn’t MATTER what I want, if you don’t want it. That is how it should have been in the first place. Normally, if I wanted to initiate contact with you, I would reach out and grab your hand. You could accept it or not, and I would then know whether or not to go further.